Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LAUGH AT YOUR STRESS TODAY

Laugh at your stress and see what happens… nothing… nothing short of getting major instant stress relief that is. Don’t believe those party poopers who say one who smiles in a crisis has already found someone else to blame. Have a good long laugh even if you have more problems than a math book, even if you started out with nothing, and still have most of it. This is about ignoring the only person who doesn’t forget you when you have no money, the bill collector; it’s about making a paper plane out of the letter from your bank telling you this is the last time they spend 44 cents to inform you there’s 37 cents in your account; it’s about turning your back to those who say you do the job of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Actually, there are events in our lives that produce way too much stress to even think about smiling, let alone laughing. 1) Death of spouse or close family member. 2) Serious illness or injury. 3) Divorce or separation. 4) Jail term 5) Fired at work. 6) Menopause 7) Foreclosure. 8) Death of a friend. 9) Military deployment to Iraq or Afghanistan.

Events like those above have no easy fixes, they open emotional wounds that may require a support group and time to heal. Some call a six-pack their support group (salvation in a can), but that's just another way to allow the stress to linger on. Now, a jail term shouldn’t generate as much stress as it does, since in prison you no longer have to work. In prison you can watch TV and play games, at work you get fired for doing it; in prison all expenses are paid by the taxpayer, at work you are the taxpayer. In prison you must deal with sadistic wardens, at work too, they are called managers. Also, in prison you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out, at work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. So, you see, being in jail is not that bad after all unless you're on death row or something. By the way, did you know that they sterilize the needle before giving lethal injections to inmates? Crazy! Now, if you've being deployed and find yourself in a combat zone, don't become overconfident, realize that every time an attack is going well, you've walked into an ambush; so don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't you ever volunteer for anything. Stay positive, you are never retreating, just advancing in a different direction.

In reality, there are many circumstances that can generate as much stress in people as the ones we mentioned, but as far as it goes, it all depends on your stress tolerance level. While a little bit of stress can serve as motivational force for you to accomplish bigger and better things, too much of it can be bad news in more ways that one. Poorly managed stress can easily end up being a vicious cycle, where the pressures lead you into drug abuse, overeating, procrastinating, etc, which in turn can make you depressed, anxious, and angry. As a matter of fact, current statistics on insanity show that one out of four people suffers from a mental illness. So, if your three best friends are all okay, you have to be the one mentally ill. The day you see Elvis sitting in the middle of Bigfoot and a Na'vi, would only confirm the statistics on insanity.

When an individual begins experiencing the physical manifestations of excessive stress, the vicious cycle is completed. Typically: stomachaches, headaches, heart disease, hair loss, skin rashes, sleep deprivation, and the killer one: low sex drive. Even though sex is like air (no big deal until you don't get any), being unable to break the 68 speed limit of sex (at 69 you turn around), can be awfully frustrating and stressful to the max. Not only that, sometimes you finally get your head together, just to have your body fall apart. But, don't worry, we'll talk about handling things like that next time around. Trivia of the week: A hydrant has H2O inside, and K9P outside. Thanks for visiting!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

PAINLESS STRESS RELIEF... OUCH!

Is stress making you feel like a pressure cooker without a safety valve? Are people no longer greeting you with "How are you?" but with "What's wrong now?"? Has grimace become your default facial expression? Well then, you're definitely in need of some sweet stress relief. But, in order to start building up safety valves in that pressure cooker, you first need to know what it is and what it can do to you.

WHAT IS STRESS AFTER ALL? You might say "It is what it is", true, but to define it a bit further, stress is the end result of anything that makes you worry. That's it! It could be an embarrassing situation like when someone at my church left a sign on the door saying: "Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary". Or like the note left on my wife's chart by her doctor who has more degrees than a thermometer: "She has experienced no shaking chills today, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night" Same doctor, same chart: "She feels numb from her toes down". Even happy occasions can turn stressful. Imagine a mother having to explain to her little daughter who's attending a wedding for the first time why the bride is dressed in white. "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life" the mother explains. The little girl looks puzzled and asks: "So, why is the groom wearing black?".

You'll be glad to know that most worries are triggered by change, good or bad, temporary or permanent, real or perceived. Changes in our lives can generate tons of stress, even if only imagined or anticipated. Like the day an old girlfriend of mine said: "When we get married, I would like to share all your worries and be totally supportive". I said, "Darling, that's so sweet of you, but I don't have any worries." She added: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."
Change is the very reason why decision making is the mother of all stresses. You know YOUR darn decision will produce a change, and you also know (consciously or not) that you can never be 100% sure things will turn out peachy. In other words, in this case it's the (uhhhhhh) unknown, and its unpredictable nature which causes stress flare-ups. That's why men always prepare for an uncertain future by going out and buying two cases of beer. Logically, there are times when the unknown factor can be thrown out the window, like in the case of a widow, for being the only woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night. One of the biggest changes in our lives is without question getting old, and watch it, because the first sign you're already old is when all your dreams about girls are reruns.

Worries can also come from pressures to perform like in sports. You're lucky if nobody has ever said to you: He is such a good loser... in fact that's all he ever does. The same goes for school pressures, which reminds me of my friend who is a music student. He knows every bar within 15 miles of the school grounds. Peer pressure is another good one, like when all your friends are married and the only person who ever asks you to get married is your mother. And let's not forget work. At my office last week due to the never-ending workload, the light at the end of the tunnel was turned off. Being discriminated upon is another source of pressure, and it can be for anything at all, if you're a man they say men and sperm have one thing in common: they both have one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. If you're a woman, then they say you have everything a man wants: muscles, a mustache, a beard... If you are not considered attractive they might say you have the perfect birth control device: your face. And it goes and on and on.

Now, what makes it interesting is the fact that no everyone reacts to the same changes the same way. Our body, mind, and soul are affected differently by similar circumstances. Like I don't understand my friend Irma, she can really get homesick but only when she is home. Ah... but that's going to be the subject of our next blog: the physical, mental, and psychological ramifications of experiencing excessive stress.

I'm going to end by leaving you (less stress out, I hope) with a unrelated business question to ponder on: Should crematoriums offer a discount for burn victims? Hell, yes!! Well, that's just me.

Thanks for visiting my Stress Relief site!


Friday, February 19, 2010

FRENCH KISS STRESS GOODBYE

Dammit, trying to get rid of stress can be stressful in itself, you can easily become frustrated in the process and end up being more stressed out than before. No kidding... been there, done that! Well, you know what they say: timing is everything. You are here at the right place at the right time. Sssstick around because I'm going to show you how I conquer stress on my daily life one hour at the time. Any breathing organism should be able to benefit from what I have to say about my experiences with the ups and downs of every day living. I have for you some useful stress-neutralizing tips, nothing like "use your Mastercard to pay for your Visa" type of tip. If you make a habit of clicking on this blog, you won't suffer from stress, you'll only be a carrier. Let's face it, some days we are the pigeon, and some days the statue, so it all comes down to resilience. How resilient can we become and what does it take?
Reading this blog will become more like a reality check, but don't let your reality check bounce, OK? We'll be providing invaluable information about understanding stress, its consequences, and how to reduce it to pieces. To be successful in this arena, you need to have a clear understanding of what success means in this context, though. It's not the same as how most people think of success:

AT AGE........................SUCCESS IS
4................................not peeing your pants
12...............................having friends
20...............................having sex
35...............................making money
60...............................having sex
70...............................having friends
80...............................not peeing your pants

More on that subject later, but succeeding at this task is possible at any age, and without having to answer questions like "If I try to fail and succeed, what have I done?" Ultimately, if God put you on this earth to accomplish an specific number of things, and you are far, far behind, then relax, it only means you'll live forever.

I'll leave you people today with an easy-to-remember phrase: Time is a great healer, but a lousy beautician.
Back with more stress relief soon.